


Scar of Life

by SnowLili



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:09:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29609220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowLili/pseuds/SnowLili
Summary: [One-Shot] Laxus wanted to forgive himself. But forgiving and forgetting are two different things. And Mirajane had no problem dealing with demons and poisons, even if they were deep inside the heart. — Written for Miraxus Week 2021.
Relationships: Laxus Dreyar & Mirajane Strauss, Laxus Dreyar/Mirajane Strauss, Laxus Dreyer & Mirajane Strauss
Kudos: 12





	Scar of Life

**Author's Note:**

> The beginning and ending of the fic is an excerpt of Fairy Tail 100 Years Quest chapter 14 and chapter 18 respectively. Also, this fic is unbetaed. I might revisit and correct things again in the future.

* * *

_“The poison bleeds from a painful past, far too deep to be cured” — Porcelain River._

* * *

"Who cares about people's backgrounds. What matters is that she's part of us now."

It was rather presumptuous of him to accuse Jellal of evil, but Laxus of all people knew what it meant to have second chances. Of course, he was no Jellal, but he was far from a core Fairy Tail not too long ago.

He wasn't family.

But he was treated as one. In fact, he was given way too many chances than what he deserved, just because he had that fairy tattoo on him. It was just a given that he treated the others with the tattoo the same, background be damned.

But even chances had a limit. Laxus learned that the hard way when he pushed things too far from what was tolerated—he was exiled. Which was why as he insisted it on Jellal, he made it clear to Touka she shouldn't cross boundaries Fairy Tail was willing to give.

"If you hide something that could be dangerous to the guild, we couldn't stay as family for quite longer."

The words woven with gentleness and clarity in such an ironic manner that Mirajane couldn't help but to seek after him. She wasn't worried. He was stronger than he gave himself credit to. But strong people tend to fight the longest. They fought without knowing they were injured. They fought not because they needed to win, but because they had to. Because no one else could.

Laxus snorted when he saw her entering the data room. "If you're here to lecture me about being nice to Touka, then good news. Freed, Bixlow and Ever already did."

It so happened that they were alone, not so coincidentally. The data storage room were usually empty, with occasional visits by him, Levy, Laki and sometimes Erza. Fairy Tail wasn't exactly known for data-mining mages. To have her coming in not too long after him was already an obvious sign of her wanting to talk.

"Good to know," she quipped with a similar witty tone but scarily kind smile. Mirajane's special. "It would be troubling if the one saving her would have such ill feeling of wanting to exile her."

Laxus groaned, pulling a chair to sit as he placed the file he wanted on the table. "I didn't want to exile her. It's just—"

His pause was way too abrupt, and Mirajane stepped closer to him. "Just what?"

"Nothing," he waved a hand dismissively before flipping the file before him open.

Mirajane pondered just a while longer, because Laxus had never been a stranger to her. Not during his rebellious years, not during the temporary disbandment of Fairy Tail, and definitely not now. They were never too clingy in public, but there wasn't any distance between them in private. Perhaps the nosy nature of Fairy Tail did caught up on their wind. Gossips never died, even if they tried their best to keep away from prying eyes.

Not because they were ashamed of their relationship. But because they needed time alone to discover themselves and each other.

But Mirajane loved the nature of their relationship. He was always there even when he was miles apart. He would always stay in contact, always reachable to her at least. They were like a constant in each other's lives when things were changing so drastically. They were never strangers. Not at any point of their lives.

"You've always been family, Laxus," she almost whispered, and she saw how he stiffened slightly beneath his large fury jacket draping over his broad shoulders. "You always were, and always will be."

Laxus tilted his head slightly, not enough for her to catch his eyes, but enough of an indication that he heard her all too well. "There was a time when we couldn't stay as family, Mira. Boundaries crossed, things happened."

"Not really," she daringly stepped closer, not that he ever minded the slightest before. "Even when you were exiled, I've always known you would return."

"Because I'm the Master's grandson?"

"Because you're family," she argued almost too immediately, as if she despised the very notion of putting that label on him. "Being Master's grandson didn't give you immunity, neither would it grant you auto-readmission. Your father didn't get that free pass. It's where your heart lies, Laxus. You've always been a Fairy Tail by heart."

The room was filled with comfortable silence they both revelled in. Him relishing the euphoria of having her trust even when he clearly was being a total jerk to her prior to that. And her taking in the pleasure of him just being honest and unapologetically himself.

"Even when I was in Blue Pegasus?" there was a sliver of mischievous tone woven in his reply, and Mirajane recognised it then it was his way of joking. It warmed her heart that she was able to see through a lot of his facade recently.

Her lips curled into a playful smile. "Oh, look at that. You did have a time when you weren't family after all. Forgive my lapse of memory."

Laxus laughed, something Mirajane didn't see often when they were in public. This was why she loved the Laxus she had known, the Laxus who had his walls down, who didn't have the burden of leadership thrusted upon him.

"Not accepted. You're gonna have to compensate that," he jested, and she shrugged.

"I'll bring your favourite drink. Would that be enough or—" she trailed deliberately, and suggestively.

His eyes darken at the innuendo she was implying, and he glared pointedly at her. "Mira. Not here."

"The drink then. Gotcha!" Mirajane snapped her fingers impishly as if she didn't just insinuated anything suggestive before pivoting her heels to get to work.

"Mira—"

"Yes?" she turned again, just to see him properly facing her this time. Her exuberant smile dropped at the sight of his forlorn expression, gone was the face of a boy she had come to love.

"I'm sorry."

It was short. It was common. Nothing explicit. But it tugged her heart strings like nothing ever did. Because he was never a stranger to her. And Mirajane knew by then he didn't just throw apologies like insignificant grunts. He held her eyes with his own, trying to convey things words couldn't. She really wished they weren't in the guild where they could still hear rowdy cheers and crashing noises just behind the thin doors.

I'm sorry for being a jerk.

I'm sorry for disparaging you.

I'm sorry for disrespecting Fairy Tail.

I'm sorry for leaving.

I'm sorry for putting you through so much in your attempt to reach out to me.

I'm sorry for everything.

But there was nothing to forgive. For all his constant care for the guild, his hastening in rescue when she called, his willingness to sacrifice his own life for them—she had already forgiven him. She had, even when the apology wasn't spoken.

"Didn't I just told you that you've always been family?" She didn't dare move then, for fear that if she had, she might break.

He sat still too. Almost as if in understanding that she needed it more than he did. But he broke the silence when he added; "And thank you."

Thank you for never giving up on me.

Thank you for understanding me.

Thank you for supporting me through it all.

Thank you for always believing in me.

Thank you for forgiving me before it was asked.

Mirajane was like an ironic enigma. Even when she was in her rebellious age, she was never really much of a demon. She was always an angel—her love, her care, her trust. Perhaps the most poisonous venom inflicted on her wasn't in battle. Rather, the constant self-deprecating doubts swirling from the depths of her heart.

But Laxus was one to talk.

Perhaps they should learn to forgive themselves before they started to forgive others. Perhaps they should learn to be kind to themselves before being kind to others. And perhaps they should love themselves before they love others.

He carefully stood and approached her, slowly, as if he was giving her time to pick the pieces of what was left in her heart. She reclined slightly, but her eyes never left his. His large palm reached out to cup the soft skin of her cheek, and she bit her lip in attempt to salvage the remnants of sanity left in the mess of her mind and emotions.

She tried to crack a smile, even though it looked more like a constrained frown in Laxus eyes—she still looked cute though. "Laxus. Not here." Her voice cracked in so many jagged ways that Laxus had to smile at her attempt to mockingly return his own words.

"Erza's on a hundred-year quest. Levi went off with Gajeel and Juvia for God knows what. No one else is interested in data," he reasoned. But his voice soft and gentle, so much in contrast with his joke. "Why were you so adamant in reaching out to me even though I was a hopeless brat back then?"

She breathed in sharply, seeming to take along the strength from their proximity as her hands hung loosely at the placket of his jacket. "You and I—" she began, firm and sure. "We were different, but very similar back then. We both hid loneliness behind the edgy rebellious facade. You, longer than I was but—"

"But?" he urged.

"I was always jealous of you having your father and grandfather around. I had to play the maternal role to Elfman and Lisanna before I even know what it means to be a mother. But I realised you never really had that parental warmth to begin with, and I knew then you didn't really hate us. I just—" she paused to collect her own thoughts. "I sought comfort in Fairy Tail. I wanted you to feel that too."

"I did," he told her, voice woven with as much sincerity as he could master. "Even when I was defying the code of Fairy Tail, I knew deep down that Fairy Tail was my family. I lied to myself that they weren't. But I tried activating Fairy Law against you and no one was harmed," he paused to let them sink in. "I've always loved Fairy Tail."

She smiled—finally. Sweet and genuine as she always was. "Seek forgiveness from yourself, Laxus. Live for us."

"I did. But this redemption, this past runs too deep, carved and etched in my being. I didn't regret it. But poisons never completely healed unscarred." He wanted to forgive himself. But forgiving didn't mean forgetting. Let this past stay as the scar of his life. Because it was what shaped him into who he was.

"If it's poison you're worried about, then it's just a dessert for a demon like me," she half-joked, but her implications were clear.

"Lucky me that I have someone to keep me grounded, just in case the poison bleeds again." The corner of his lips curved up into a sly grin.

Her own smile widened at that, because she would be more than happy to be his pillar, to be the one to put him back on track had he strayed. Because she wanted to support him, not by following him to hell. But by guiding him to the right path. But that was enough of a talk for them, and she pulled him out to the bar to get him the drink she promised him.

He settled on the stool, face inscrutable as per his usual. She wasn't offended by his impassive look. It was him. And she loved him just as who he was.

Perhaps someday, they would save each other. Or maybe if they both couldn't, then Fairy Tail would. There wasn't any room for loneliness. The remnants of the poisonous past seeped through the cracks of their lives so beautifully. It was enough of a reminder of the past, not fully healed, but not fully broken either.

As Mirajane happily complied to making his drink, she saw Touka came back to the guild with an abhorrent smirk she never thought the girl could muster.

Neither Mirajane nor Laxus understood what happened by the following moment.

Perhaps someday, they would save each other.

Or maybe if they both couldn't, then Fairy Tail would.


End file.
